


Almost

by Alril_nanyii



Category: 19th Century CE RPF, Victoria (TV)
Genre: Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), F/M, Fear, Heartache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26295292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alril_nanyii/pseuds/Alril_nanyii
Summary: Things don't go too well during the wedding of Victoria, giving her the time to contemplate longer on the path she chose. But what might cost her for the extra time she got, might be far too much for a life now hangs in balance.
Relationships: William Lamb 2nd Viscount Melbourne/Victoria of the United Kingdom (1819-1901)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 66





	1. Wedding Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing in ao3. I just need more fics for Vicbourne, so all of a sudden I wrote one out of nowhere.

Lord Melbourne watched with utmost focus the only woman who rattled his world to the point of choosing between his duty or his feelings. As he held the sword, which grows heavier with every minute that passes by. 

Yes, he is a rook. Sadly, the mate that he spoke of is not the wife that passed but rather the one who is now to be the wife of someone more deserving.

Even if he is not the one who stands before her, she is still the most beautiful person that he laid his eyes on. Any feeling that is shaking his whole being does not matter as long as she is happy. She must have someone that would stay by her side in the same amount of years a young woman would have, unlike what he, an old man, could give her. 

Oh how painful this is, why must he witness his own damnation. Why must he fall in love with someone whom he cannot have, so many obstacles. His age, his position, his title, his past…

That is why he chose to give way and lie to her.

Before he could drown into his sorrowful thoughts even further, he saw a glint of metal. That’s when he realized an arm is being raised with a gun in hand pointing towards the queen. Without even thinking he dropped the sword and ran to block the path between the gun and his most beloved queen.

A shot rang in the whole place causing panic between the guests, most people have frozen in shock. Feeling the pain in his right shoulder, he remain strong and started ordering the men to apprehend the culprit who is being held down by some male guests. 

“Get the queen to safety-“ Before he could continue his body to kneel from the pain. Which snapped her majesty from her shock and tried to approach him but she was immediately held back by her intended.

She tried to pull away, “Lord M!” She shouted in distress.

He tried smiling to help ease her worries but he started to feel faint, most likely from the excessive bleeding from the gunshot wound.

“You fool, what were you thinking making orders instead of getting a medic, huh Melbourne?” The Duke of Wellington questions him while trying to stop the bleeding as much a person can. For some reason the tone of his voice is mixed with amusement and worry.

He chuckled but winced, “One would think you’re worried Duke.” He joked.

This only made the old Duke smile.

“You must stay alive Melbourne, or the queen and the country will not easily recover from this tragedy. Stay strong, my good man.” 

He wanted to reply that the queen will be alright even without him by her side, she has her Albert now. But before a word can be uttered, darkness took over his consciousness forcing him to submit to what his body endured. 

_________

She is unable to digest what just occurred. Everything was going well (in the standard of the parliament and the royal family of course), but she was still troubled with whose hands held her heart. Then the next thing that happened all of a sudden is Lord M running towards her after dropping the state sword surprising her. Then a shot rang in the whole building.

Frozen in shock, she could do nothing but watch her Prime Minister shout orders all over. What shook her awake is when he kneeled with an expression of pain. That’s when she saw the blood seeping within the Windsor uniform.

“Lord M!” She shouted.

Before she could even go near her beloved, Albert has pulled her away to safety. 

She did not care for safety at all, she wants to hold her Lord M to assure herself that he is going to stay alive.

As he was brought into an enclosed carriage back to Buckingham, she could not focus on anything. Her mind is swallowed by her incessant worries concerning her Lord M.

Oh Lord M… do not leave me.

”Drina, I know you are traumatized by what happened. So, the ministers suggested that the wedding will have to continue privately within these palace walls. The archbishop is with us here-“ Her mother was stopped by the anger in her daughter’s eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Queen Victoria faced her mother with disbelief. “How could you even think of the wedding right now mamma? Lord M got shot because he protected me, his life is in danger and you want me to marry under this circumstances?”

Everyone in the room froze at her statement. As if unable to comprehend that the she didn’t want to marry now. 

Albert stepped forward, “But Victoria, we will be just finishing what was already started in the church.”

“Indeed niece,” Leopold agreed while nodding. “The ceremony has already started, if it weren’t for that wretched event that interrupted-“

“Interrupted?” She repeated after him, “You say it like someone just stood up and shouted or sneezed, like I was not just about to be assassinated a few minutes ago. As if Lord Melbourne is not fighting for his life because he chose mine over his!”

“My darling child, I know you are worried but-“

“All of you out.” She ordered.

Her uncle’s eyes widened, “What are you-“

“I said get out!” She shouted, “All of you out of this room, don’t make me call the guards just to throw you out.”

The doors were opened by the guards immediately, the Coburgs did not look like they wanted to but left anyway along with her mother.

She collapsed on the sofa after the only one left in the room was her and stifled a sob. She’s strong, but not strong enough to endure the idea that she could lose the one man who believed her for who she is.

Slowly looking up, she saw the mirror reflect the fear and broken look in her eyes.

No, she cannot lose her Lord M at the cost of her to continue living or else...

this country will have the second coming of George III in the form of Victoria Regina that lived but lost.


	2. Grim Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is restless.

The Parliament is in an uproar after the events at the wedding, what made things worse for them is the Queen refusing to marry the Prince.

“We have to convince Her Majesty that it is of the utmost importance for her to marry immediately. It started, what is she hesitating for?” One of the Tories questioned.

The other side replied in a gloomy tone, “Most probably due to the Prime Minister’s condition.”

“Absurdity! She does not have to worry about him, her duty to our country is to marry.”

A Whig stood up in indignance, “Maybe you have forgotten Lord Melbourne is the PRIME. MINISTER. Of course, her majesty is worried, his life is in danger after he protected her with his life. It is part of her duty to worry about her loyal subjects.”

Another Tory scoffed, “If only he was just a subject to her.”

This caused everyone to quiet down, then the shouting started more brutally. Both sides accuse the other of something and argue about what must be done concerning the young Queen.

“Why don’t you all sit down and be quiet for a moment.” A gravelly voice spoke up.

Every man in the house turned around and saw the Duke of Wellington approaching, his face grim, which caused even more uneasiness among them.

“Currently, the Prime Minister is in critical condition. We must be prepared for the worst, according to the doctor. I… am proposing that either I or Peel will report this to her majesty.”

The hesitation in the faces of the men from the Whig party is prominent, which frustrated the Duke. This is no time for Partisan fighting. No matter how much one wants to dominate the other, it is their duty to make sure to help the current Prime Minister. 

“Gentlemen, at this very crisis we must unite. The country is in panic after almost losing its Queen and now they are facing the possibility of losing the Prime Minister. This will cause instability of the nation, and our disunity will only cause it to become worse.” Duke Wellington expressed frustration.

The Duke is not wrong, Whigs and Tories might be on opposite sides when it comes to their desire of the leadership of the country, but they have one common goal:

To maintain the nation’s power and position.

“Then Duke, I believe none of us will disagree upon the idea that it must be you who tells the Queen.” Robert Peel spoke, “After all, she is more familiar to you than any of us in the house right now. You know the situation of Lord Melbourne better, you were the one who had to face the doctors.”

With a frown, the Duke nodded and left.

***

Victoria is still in a daze, finally allowing one of her maids Skerett to assist her out of the dreaded wedding dress that feels like shackles around her. 

“Ma’am, what style would you like me to do for dinner?”

Skerett does not like seeing her majesty this low in spirits, no, it’s even worse than that. She looks empty, unsurprising with the events that just took place.

“I do not feel like eating, inform them to start without me. Another thing, just a simple style, both the dress and the hair. All I plan to do tonight is to visit Lord M.” She ordered quietly.

“Very well ma’am.”

She did not tell the queen that it is inappropriate to see the Prime Minister at this time, especially when she insists on halting the wedding. It would cause a scandal but, that maybe, she did not have the heart to do so. The Queen, pardon her assumption, look desperate for some assurance concerning the state of Lord Melbourne. It is no secret to her that the Queen and the Prime Minister had something more. 

Before she can even finish styling her majesty’s hair, Lehzen enters the room quietly.

“Your majesty, the Duke of Wellington is here seeking your audience. I already informed him that you are not in the state but he says he must insist.” She informs her with pursed lips.

Queen Victoria exhales angrily as she stands up, “Go Lehzen, I’ll talk to him.”

The doors open when she exits the room with all the elegance she has while trying to keep a heavy heart afloat. Upon seeing her majesty, the Duke bows and kisses her hand, “Your majesty.”

“Duke, whatever you wish to talk about can wait. I will be visiting the Prime Minister to check on him.”

He smiles sadly, “Your majesty, the very reason that I am here is because of the status of our dear Prime Minister.”

This made her pause and turn to look at him, “Is everything alright? Did something happen? Is he alive, dead?!” Frantic questions flowed from her as panic started to show in her eyes.

“Your majesty please calm yourself-“

“Calm myself?! Ha!” She hissed, “I have been trying to do that for these past hours. Don’t ask me to calm down when he is suffering.”

Her outburst made everyone around her silent looking at their queen wide-eyed. They knew about her majesty’s temper but the look in her eyes was different. Something that they fear, will get worse if the situation does not improve in any way.

The Duke cautiously watched the Queen, choosing his words carefully is a must. 

“I apologize for telling you to calm down, it was out of bounds of me. But as your subject, we just wish the best for you.” Sighing he continued, “I just visited him to ask for how he is, and the doctors inform me that he is in critical condition-“

“Critical condition?!” She asks loudly.

He nods grimly, “Yes. But they are doing everything they can, but when they treated him the wound started to fester so they needed to change their way.”

Closing her eyes, Victoria took a deep breath and calmly says, “Then what are we still doing here Duke? Bring me to him right this instance, I also wish to speak to the doctors.”

“Of course your majesty,” Then the group started to move.

After walking for a few minutes, they stopped in front of two doors that opened with two doctors getting out. Both of them stopped upon seeing her.

“Your majesty,” they both greeted respectfully.

But the queen’s eyes were not on them, ignoring the two doctors in front of her she entered the room and stared at her Lord M lying on the bed looking lifeless and pale.

Tears started to form around her eyes once again, “Oh Lord M...” She whispered.

Taking her place by the side of the bed, she held his hand while shaking.

“Stay alive my dearest Prime Minister, it is an order from your queen.” She demands, sounding like a petulant child.

No, she did no care for those who heard her. All she cares about right now is how much he needed her by his side, even if he does not know of her presence.

But the Duke watches the scene looking worried for both the present and the future, especially the mental state of their queen. He saw the glint in her eye that her grandfather once had when she had her outburst after he asked her to calm down.

Melbourne you fool, wake up, you leave this country in peril with your self-sacrificing conduct that all of us must thank you for if you live, but if you die, I will curse you myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... hope you liked it ✌️. Sorry for any errors.


	3. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They communicate and people are surprised for different reasons.

The first thing William noticed when he opened his eyes is the stinging pain in his shoulder. He feels exhausted and confused, something that he was unused to. Looking at his surroundings, he realized that the walls are familiar but not familiar enough for it to be his own. Analyzing the room even further, that’s when he concluded that it is one of the rooms in Buckingham Palace.

The question going through his mind right now though, why is he in here? 

When he tried to sit up, the pain was so much that he let out a shout. It seems that it alerted somebody right away because the doors slammed open. Doctors came rushing in looking frantic at the sight of the Prime Minister attempting to sit up.

“Lord Melbourne, please do not make any unnecessary movements. Your wound has not healed well, and especially because we almost lost you to some complications. The queen would have our heads if something were to ever lose you.” One of them spoke respectfully while trying to convince the man to lie down once again.

The mention of the queen caught his attention, “The queen, is she alright?” he asks worriedly.

“Do not worry sir, the queen is well physically. Though mentally and emotionally speaking, we cannot say the same with how much she worried about you. So please Lord Melbourne, do not unnecessarily act.” One of them spoke while trying to check his bullet wound.

William sighed, guilt weighing him down right away. The young queen shouldn’t waste worrying over an old man like him who’s not far away from death’s door with his age. Then he remembered something that made him exhausted and weary.

“I hope the wedding went smoothly right after the mess that occurred?” He questions the doctors as he leans down slowly.

He might be unable to leave this bed but he is still the Prime Minister. He has to at least be aware of the events happening while he was out. He is aware that with his absence there are consequences to the country. But that doesn’t mean everything went wrong… right?

William noticed that he had not received an answer, so he looked up. The doctors were looking at each other as if having a silent conversation.

“Alright, inform me what is wrong?”

“Lord Melbourne, the wedding did not proceed.”

“I see… Excuse me?!” He exclaimed sitting up fast.

Now he shouldn’t have done that because the pain hit him, making him groan, making the doctors once again frantically tend and check over him.

\---------

Victoria’s week has not been going well.

Try having your whole family continue to insist on proceeding with a “postponed” wedding, along with the other members from both parties. The worst part of it, Lord M has not woken up at all. The longer he continues to sleep the less hope she has of him recovering. Making her slowly lose patience, something she never had to begin with.

The Parliament isn’t any better, they aren’t very vocal these past few days as if wary of her reactions. Though, they tried to subtly ask her of future plans of when the wedding will continue. 

She ignored them.

There is no way she will focus on such things while her Lord M is bedridden. So she must do her duties diligently except the duty to marry, she is a queen in the very first place crying out loud. Why must she obey them?

Taking a deep breath to ease her irritation, she continued with her box. Due to the preparation of the wedding and the attempt at her life, it was neglected. She does not wish to do so, especially with the high hopes placed upon her shoulders. She will prove to them that she takes her responsibilities seriously, just not the part she must be forced.

“Your majesty, Prince Albert wishes to speak with you.” Mr. Penge informs her with his head bowed.

This made her hand pause, she understands that her betrothed must be getting impatient as well. She hasn’t spoken with Albert for days, she will admit that he is on of her duties that is being neglected ever since the event.

“Very well Mr. Penge, let him in.” She sighed putting down the pen she was just using.

Her steward stepped aside giving way to the German prince whose face until now is unreadable even to her. Possibly the only one who could grasp anything from him is her uncle and her cousin Ernest.

“Thank you Mr. Penge, you can leave now. Please inform them not to disturb us for a while, unless it is truly an emergency.” She dismisses.

The steward bowed once again before leaving the room and closed the door quietly.

Looking straight into the eyes of Albert she gestured towards a chair, “Please take a seat Albert. I have a feeling that we’re going to have quite a lengthy discussion.”

It seems her words made the prince uncomfortable by the way he pursed his lips. Nonetheless, he took a seat back rigidly straight. She can see the way his Adam's apple moves, is it nervousness or irritation?

“Victoria, I will get straight to the point.” He starts while staring seriously at him, “I am aware that you are currently worrying over the Prime Minister, but don’t you think enough is enough?”

His tone made Victoria furious, “I would watch how you speak Albert, I might be marrying you but it does not give you the right to speak to me in such manner.” Glaring at him, she continued. “I am still the queen. Concerning our postponed wedding, have you no heart? Do you truly wish to marry under such circumstances?”

“The thing is your majesty, it is not about what I wish nor want. We have a responsibility to undertake, or is there something you are not telling me?” Albert asks with a hint of accusation.

She turned to him, “What are you insinuating Albert?”

“I think you are aware of what I am trying to say.” 

Both glared at each other for a few seconds before Albert sighs, a sign of surrender. As if all determination left him, his face showed exhaustion. 

Closing his eyes in frustration, Albert stood up running a hand in his hair, “Do you want to get married? I want an honest answer.”

This surprised Victoria, it was the first time ever since the event that anyone asked her if she actually wanted it. She has been trying to push it out of her thoughts that she was unable to actually contemplate it.

He stands in front of her, patiently waiting for an answer. She bit her lip trying to find any need or want for them to get married, even if just a hint of that she actually wants to go through it once again.

Unfortunately, she could not find any within her. Just thinking that it is going to happen fills her with resentment.

She slowly shakes her head, “If we are to be honest, then no Albert.” She admits, “I think all thoughts of marriage with you vanished when I saw Lord M almost die for my sake. It made me realize what my true feelings are. It is nothing against you, you’re a good man. Responsible and ready to do your duty. I feel like even if your feelings are due to those things.”

Resignation, that’s what she sees in his expression the moment she finished answering. 

He nods, “Very well, we should announce that there will be no wedding continuing. Though, I think we should wait until your Lord Melbourne has woken up or recovered.”

“Wait, will you be alright with that?” She asks worriedly, “Don’t you think it would be better for your reputation if we are to announce it now?”

He smiles sadly, “The thing is Victoria, it does not matter to me. Your position is something that must be protected, even if we are not to be husband and wife, at least remember that I am your cousin.” Turning away from me he continued, “Us monarchs may not place too much on the familial bonds, but let me tell you, us being family is enough for me to help you.”

“Albert…”

“I’ll be leaving you to your work now.” 

He was about to leave when Victoria stood up, “Albert, thank you and… I’m sorry for doing this to you.”

Albert responds only with a smile and turns away when all of a sudden the doors slammed open making him jump back in surprise.

There stood Mr. Penge panting, “Your majesty, forgive me for disturbing you. But you told me that I can only do so if it is an emergency or something important.”

She got up from her seat immediately, “What is it Mr. Penge? Is there something wrong?”

Albert looked worried as well with the way he’s frowning.

He shook his head, “No your majesty, it is good news. The prime minister, Lord Melbourne has woken up according to the doctors.”

Without realizing it, she bolted out of the room. She heard Albert call out but ignored it, focusing on reaching her dear Lord M. The guards catching the unusual sight of the queen running, immediately opened the door without questions.

There she entered wide-eyed, in front of her a newly awakened William Lamb.

“Y-your majesty!” He sputtered in shock at the sight of the disheveled young queen.

Tears of relief started to fill her eyes, “Oh Lord M, you’re alright!” She exclaims joyfully before crossing the room and throwing her arms around him.

Making the others let out astounded exclamations, others choked, and some coughed unable to register the “inappropriate” action of the young queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating soon. So many things happened giving me less time to thing about what to write.
> 
> Hope you liked it though...


	4. Second Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions were made, but not everything will go as planned.

When Prime Minister, William Lamb, was finally allowed to leave that damnable boring bed, he will admit that he’s relieved. Indeed, well before Alexandrina became Queen Victoria, he was ready to retire. That did not mean though that he wanted to be forced to rest and be unable to leave the bed.

They say that it was for his own good, he did need to recover after all. Still it was not a very pleasant experience to be forced to stay lying down. 

The prime minister grimaced all of a sudden, making one of the doctors ask if there is anything wrong. He shook his head as an answer informing them that everything is alright. Though, remembering what happened the time he woke up…

It is sure that there will be rumors, even so he hopes that it will be kept quiet. It will be a pain to face a scandal right after almost dying. Surely the men of the house will not keep their mouths shut if they find out anything inappropriate or threatening the position of the crown. 

Oh yes, he also needs to meet up with both parties when he goes back to his duties. The wedding…

He’ll think about that matter when it is the time to do so. Thinking about it only causes a pain in his chest, he was already ready to give her away. But the assassination attempt during the wedding makes it harder for him to go through that twice. No matter how much he wants what’s best for the crown and her majesty, he is but human.

“Look who’s finally awake,” A dry tone rings within the room.

Upon looking up, there he sees the Duke of Wellington smiling upon entering the room.

He greeted back by giving a weary smile, unsure of the reasoning behind the Duke’s appearance. The duke has always been one that is drifting from one side or another. At least, within the Tories there is one reasonable man. But in the end, no one can truly know which side the Duke of Wellington is truly with. 

Even those within the same party as the man.

“My, my Melbourne. How did it feel to be some sleeping beauty for weeks attended by the best of the best?” 

Melbourne scowled at the teasing man’s direction, “You say it in such a way as if I chose for that to happen to me. I may be an old man who wants to retire and laze around within the walls of my Brocket Hall, doesn’t mean I am irresponsible enough to do so in somebody’s home.”

But to his surprise, the teasing smile on Wellington’s face dropped. Making him confuse all of a sudden. He didn’t say anything that could possibly offend the Duke when this was nothing different from their usual banter.

Raising an eyebrow he tilted his head questioningly at the man, “Is everything alright Duke?”

“I fear that your retirement will only cause harm rather than good Melbourne.”

Now, that is not something that the prime minister expected. 

He laughed, “how unusual of you to say that Duke, should I take that as an indication that you will miss my presence within the House?” it was asked in a joking way but Melbourne was unsettled.

For the other to say such a thing is very unusual. No matter how comfortable the two of them as friends, their beliefs are too far apart. The very reason why he is a Whig, the other a Tory. From the very start of his lead, the Tories have been tearing him apart just to force him down. Duke Wellington may not be as aggressive or forefront about it, the man wasn’t for him becoming a Prime Minister either.

“The queen has shown some… signs.” He replied.

Now that really didn’t answer his question, “And signs of what is it this time?” He sighed, exhausted all of sudden from this conversation.

“You know what Melbourne.” 

“Come on Duke, we went through this already. The queen is not her grandfather-” Before he could go on a tirade, he was cut off.

“I am aware and I agree, when I say that... I mean if anything major were to happen she might not accept it so easily and affect her mental health heavily.” Words were carefully stated.

“Of course, anything major that happens to anyone can affect heavily. The Queen is young, but she is strong. Even without me as her Prime Minister she will be fine.” Melbourne retorted. Then continued sadly, “Especially now that she will soon be a married woman, she won’t be alone like before.”

No matter how hard he tries to avoid it, he will have to face it. At least now he can discuss with the Duke concerning this issue, maybe the man will give his insight on how to breach the topic with the queen once again.

“I’m afraid there won’t be any wedding continuing, Melbourne.” The duke answered resignedly.

Now that is another thing that the Prime minister did not expected to hear from the other, 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Wellington stood up and uncharacteristically shrugged, “It seems the queen decided that the assassination was a sign from God that it was not meant to be.” Then he smiled as if he was revealing some sort of secret, “Or so she explained.”

Once again, Lord Melbourne was frozen in shock. 

Then he scrambled trying to stand up, but the sudden movement only caused a spark of pain from the wound making him groan.

“W-wait Duke, no one has told me this!” 

He received no answer because the man had already left and some doctors rushed in hearing him shout and saw him positioned awkwardly grimacing in pain.

****

“Drina! What is the meaning of this?” Her mother shouts looking utterly distraught.

Trying to look tall, Queen Victoria raised her head with confidence, “It means what it means mother. Albert and I decided not to go through this wedding any more.”

“Preposterous!” Her uncle answered angrily, “This isn’t something you can just decide without telling us, your family, and the Parliament.”

Albert intervened, “Uncle, please. Both of us have already made our decision. No need for any arguments.”

“There will be an argument! The two of you cannot just-” Before he could continue on his rant Victoria held her hand up.

“The thing is Uncle Leopold, I have already talked to the Parliament.” She smirked, “There was a little bit of debate but in the end they relented to our decision.”

Her mother gasped in horrification, while her Uncle’s eyes looked like they were about to bulge from their sockets in anger.

Victoria knew that this decision will not be easily accepted, that’s why she made preparations together with Albert. In some manner, she is lucky that he is the one she is supposed to marry. If any other man was it they would never have allowed this. 

After all, in the eyes of others, she is another way to procure position and power. That’s why she turned around and gave a thankful smile towards her cousin.   
Cousin, now that is all they are as how it should be. 

Maybe in another life if everything went smoothly she would have married him, and possibly even fall in love hard that she would be able to forget her dear Lord M. They would be husband and wife, and a child or two. That would have been her fate if circumstances didn’t interfere in the precious plans of her Uncle.

But not in this lifetime, not in this time in which her Lord M almost lost his life for hers. She will take a stand, she is the queen and she will marry the person chosen by her.

“Drina, my dear, please think this through.” The duchess pleaded as she took her daughter’s hand.

The king of Belgium growled, “Listen your mother, this why we are here to-”

“Enough uncle!” Albert shouted, surprising everyone in the room. “Both of us made this decision, next month I’ll be going back home along with Ernest. If you wish to stay here and continue to make a fool of yourself, and do so. But I will not be making myself look one.”

He kissed her cheek before leaving the room and whispered that he’ll just be catching a breath.

Turning towards her mother and uncle once again, “This is all that I need to tell you mother. Now I shall be leaving you both to rest.”

“Drina-” Victoria did not wait for her mother to finish what she was about to say and left.

Next on her list: 

Visit Lord M

She was so busy doing her duties that she was unable to even take a seat with her Prime Minister. Then she had to deal with the other members of the Parliament, but with the help of Duke Wellington they had no choice but to back down. She sneered upon remembering that the only thing that completely forced them to surrender was the threat of following the footsteps of her predecessor.

Queen Elizabeth, I should thank you for your help.

But then, she encountered the Duke.

“Your majesty,” He greets as he takes a bow.

She gave a nod of acknowledgement, “Duke Wellington, what a surprise to see you here.”

He only smiled and answered, “Ah, forgive me ma’am for not presenting myself to you first. But I visited our Prime Minister.”

Oh, why would he…?

“He is already informed.”

Her eyes widened, “Why did you tell him?!”

“He needed to be aware ma’am. Injured man he may be, he is still the prime minister and the fate decided in the Parliament concerned him.” He replied, “Do not worry your majesty, all he knows is there will be no wedding happening.”

He bowed once again and left.

For some reason, she felt nervous all of a sudden. So when she appeared before the room he’s currently staying, she held her hand up to stop them from opening the door. She needed to take a few breaths first. She gestured for them to open the door and they bowed and did as ordered.

There, upon entering the room she came face to face once again with her dearest Prime minister, Lord M.

He stood up, but she stopped him. “Lord M, you are injured and it was for my sake. Please do not stand up for now and abandon courtesies until you are able to leave this room all healed.”

Lord M was hesitant but complied with her Queen’s orders.

“It seems ma’am, we have things to talk about.” He started.

Pushing down her nervousness which is unbefitting of a queen, “Yes. That is why I am here, there are many things that needed to be said.”

“I hope it is about my retirement.” He jokingly stated.

Everyone in the room froze, while Victoria can’t help but look at him with disbelief.

“You cannot be serious.” She tells him with clenched fists and frustration all too clearly mixed with her tone.

“Ma’am-”

Trying to get back her composure, she held her head high after taking a deep breath. 

“Very well, your retirement is part of it anyway. A necessary action for what we are going to talk about.” She says with all seriousness.

Now Victoria can see that the Viscount is getting nervous at where the direction of their conversation is going.

Before he could halt what she was about to say, Queen Victoria announced loud and clear that everyone within the vicinity heard it.

“After all, staying in that position will be a problem when we start planning for our wedding. The consort of a queen cannot be involved with politics.”

She watched as Lord Melbourne closed his eyes as if he was already expecting this, and sighed.

“Forgive me ma’am, but I will not.” He replies looking like he was forcing himself to say the words, “I will retire, but I cannot marry you.”

For the second time, Queen Victoria’s heart broke from the second rejection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was only planning to write up to 4 chapters but I realized out of all the ones I've written there were barely any moments that they were actually together. This realization only happened when I have already reached 1000+ words in my fourth chapter so I decided to make the fifth one my last. I'm sorry it was a stupid blunder, I write impulsively without looking back because if I do, I lose the will to write. So once again, I apologize for this. 
> 
> Another thing, I am really bad at writing fast. I try but college is exhausting, so I'll try to write the 5th chapter but it might take long as well. Thank you for understanding.


	5. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visits happened, but in the end of the day only one person was able to convince him.

After rejecting the queen for the second time, Melbourne stayed for a day just to call for a carriage. The very next day he left the palace incognito to go back to Brocket hall and recover. As soon as he can, he plans to meet up with the members of the Parliament and finalize everything.

He knows what he did, in the eyes of everyone he rejected the queen for the first time.

But he should have expected that he would not be left behind peacefully by the people when the Duke of Wellington and other members of the Parliament showed up in his retirement home. Can they not understand that the reason he is here is to be left as he is?

“Melbourne, you have the gall to reject the queen.” Wellington jokes but he looks disappointed.

Not in the mood for jokes he stood up, “Well it seemed like I had to do all the work of making sure that the queen has the best future.” he replied soulry.

The people in front of him scowled, disliking what he was implying. Well, isn’t he right though? It seems the whole Parliament has completely forgotten what they are for. 

Robert Peel stepped forward looking annoyed, “Melbourne what are you doing? Finally you are given the chance to marry her. How can you be so foolish?”

Now that only made him angrier. Foolish? 

He laughed, “Foolish? I’m the foolish one?” They were all taken aback by his humorless tone, “It seems I’m the only one thinking clearly in this situation! Has it ever occurred to you that I didn’t protect the queen just because I believed there would be something beneficial from it?”

“Of course we are aware!” Palmerston protested.

“Yes” He growled, “good, cause you should be. Think about what will happen to the queen a few years from now. If by some miracle I am still able to sire any children, she’d be left with them all alone. I’m lucky if I even lived for 10 more years, but I will not rely on waiting for that luck to even arrive!”

Exhausted from his tirade, he took a seat, “I’m glad you are all acknowledging the Queen’s feelings. But not on this one, allowing this will destroy her.”

He knows, he knows that currently he’s confusing everyone. All along they believed that he wanted to use the queen and if for some reason others believe he genuinely loves her. He thought they would be more rational about decisions like this but they proved him wrong in the worst way possible.

Them allowing this, makes it harder to fight the temptation of being selfish and shrugging off his duty. That is one thing he cannot allow, not only is the nation’s reputation at stake but her majesty’s future as well.

It surprised him though, when all of a sudden a hand slammed on his desk in front of him. 

“For goodness sake Melbourne, don’t you dare look down on us!” The duke orders him, “We are aware of the consequences. This is not us indulging the Queen out of nowhere just because we think what she wants must be followed. This is us asking you to take on another duty.”

His last words made him look up to see any lies in the eyes of the Duke, but the man is serious about everything he said. He wanted to scream at them, pushing him this far to grab at the temptation is foolish. They should have continued with their protests and arguments that this was a horrible idea, something that is not good not only for the parliament but for the crown as well. Yet, they are the ones consenting to this madness.

Before he could give a reply, his butler announced the entrance of Prince Albert, the ex-prime minister knew this would be another headache incoming.

“Your serene highness, I am honored for your visit. But as you can see I am currently meeting with some… hard-working men.” He greets him with a sour smile.

The prince waved his hand, “It wouldn’t be an issue Lord Melbourne. After all, I have the same intention as these… hard-working and persistent men.”

He gives up, William should have known that any person involved in leading a country or associated with it are stubborn. “Then your highness, please say your piece and leave.”

He turned around, enough is enough. 

“She loves you.” 

Melbourne sighed, the prince is straightforward as ever. “Feelings have nothing to do with this Prince Albert, you of all should be aware of that.”

“Yes, but not at this point. There are barely any barriers blocking you both to do what you want, she loves you, Parliament is backing you up, the public supports this match after your heroic save, everything is set.”

“Everything is set… huh” He repeated.

William knows, believe him he knows. There is nothing more tantalizing than loving her and being able to have the chance to marry her easily. In his age, it’s the only thing he wants to have. Ever since she came into his life decades of suffering and humiliation is worth just being able to be with her. 

But in the end, it is nothing but selfishness.

“Please gentlemen and your highness, go back to your respective homes. Once I am given a go by the doctor, I will arrange my formal resignation and then I’ll be gone from the public eye.” He dismissed them.

Prince Albert looks like he wants to say more but understanding can be seen from his eyes. Peel was about to say something, but Wellington stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder. They all left, except for Palmerston who chose to stay.

“Melbourne, at least think more about it.” He gently pushed, “I know what you are thinking, but I assure you it is not selfishness to marry the queen as of this moment. You get nothing out of being her consort, it is another heavy burden to take on that duty.”

He shook his head, “Any burden is worth it if being able to be with her.” He refuted.

He realized what he said when Melbourne saw Palmerston smile, and just avoided his knowing look.

“Well there you have it.” After saying those words, Palmerston left while shaking his head.

“Think about it… huh?” He muttered, “What do you think have I been doing these past few days?”

Then he went back to his desk to finish his resignation letter.

***

Victoria is going mad.

For the second time, Lord M has rejected her. Nothing is going the way she wanted and now her mother and uncle are pushing her to continue marrying Albert once again. There is no way she will let them dictate what she needs to do, this time there is no giving up.\

“For the last time mama, I am not going to marry Albert!” She shouted before telling her mother to leave the room. 

Her mother looked hurt and bursted into tears when leaving the room. Her uncle looked disappointed but she ignored it. Her temper has always been short and patience almost nonexistent. They have been pushing too much this past few days, it shouldn’t be surprising that she exploded.

What should be surprising is how it took this long, possibly a good influence she got from Lord M.

Speaking of Lord M, soon he will be coming here to finalize his resignation and then he will retire. She bit her thumb in frustration, how will she convince him? According to Albert and the members of the Parliament, they have already tried to convince him by going to Brocket hall. 

Yet, Lord M remained stubborn. 

“He’s worried about your future ma’am.” 

Of course he is worried about my future, Lord M is always worried about my future. Yet has he ever tried to think that maybe I am willing to risk it?

It’s decided.

“Lady Portman, may I ask you a question?”

Lady Portman lowered her head, “Of course your majesty.”

“I wish to go to Brocket Hall,” She informs her.

Before the baroness could reply, the arrival of the prime minister was announced.

Victoria was unprepared, “Yes, uhm, let him in.” 

Emma and Harriet looked at each other, both looked confused as well. Victoria was caught unaware at the arrival of the soon to be ex-prime minister. She knew the man was not fully recovered, so he should be still resting.

“Good morning ma’am.” Lord M greets with a hesitant smile.

With a straight face she replied, “Good morning prime minister. Your arrival was surprising, it is good that you have already recovered.”

“Ah, actually” William Melbourne looked embarrassed as his smile twitched, “I was not given a go. I only left Brocket Hall without getting cleared just to meet you as soon as possibly to turn this in.”

His hand holds an envelope, Victoria knows well what it contains.

“Emma, Harriet please the room.” She orders.

Both ladies nodded and took a bow before leaving the room.   
“Are you serious about this?” She asks him.

This will be the last time, she tells herself. Lord M has every right to accept or reject but she must attempt for the last time. 

His eyes are filled with pain, “Ma’am, if I said that I do not wish to accept then I’d be lying to you. That, I cannot do. So let me tell you, I love you ma’am. You are the last person I will ever love but understand, your future will be full of pain if you choose me and I cannot allow that.”

His words are firm, determined even. She wants to get angry but then she realized that even now, her Lord M is sacrificing once again. Instead of shouting and screaming she let out a smile that took the man by surprise.

“Lord M, remember what you told me before?”

“Ma’am…”

“You told me I can think for myself, because I am the queen. That I am in charge of my life,” She slowly took a few steps forward before grabbing the hand with the letter, “Or was that all flowery words from my prime minister?”

After she said those words, William Lamb’s expression broke. 

“Of course not ma’am, but in the end this will only benefit me! In the long run the one who will get hurt is-” A finger on his lips shut him up. 

She looked up with a teary smile on her face. Victoria can feel the relief flooding within her upon realizing that this is the chance. She can see his face slowly breaking from the guarded expression of his that he tried to keep up upon meeting her. So she took his face in her hands, gently caressing it with so much love and tenderness she can show.

“Lord M, I am aware of the consequences.” She leaned her face towards his, “And I am ready for it.” Then kissed the corner of his lips.

She was about to step away when she was pulled back, an arm around her waist, her face was pulled by a hand on her cheek, and a pair of lips met hers. Her eyes widened, but she closed immediately relishing the feeling of desire running through her body.

Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck in response. 

Her heart is beating so fast that she feels like it would burst out from her chest, this is the first time Lord M ever touched her intimately. He has always been so formal and careful, she never knew his touch could feel so amazing.

She had fantasized a few times, then felt guilty right after. In the end, it was nothing compared to how it feels as of this moment. 

When she felt him pull away both of them were still panting. Looking up once again she can see his expression morph into guilt. Before he can even pull away farther from her reach, she tightens her hold.

“Don’t you dare, pull away after getting this far.” She whispered, it sounded desperate but it did not matter.

She thought he wouldn’t give in and pull away, so she was a little surprise when his arms wrapped around her.

“Ma’am, compared to you I do not have many years left to live.”

With a burrowed head she mumbled, “Then we’ll make the most out of it.”

“There is no assurance that I can sire a healthy child, or if I can even sire any at all.”

“We won’t know until we try.”

“Ma’am, you will be left all alone sooner than what you deserved.”

“Years with you is worth a hundred years of being with someone I do not love.” She countered.

“Ma’am-”

Pulling away she scowled at him, “No matter how many reasons or explanation you have against this, I have an answer for it. I love you, I love you so much that any hardships when our marriage happens is worth it.” Please, she wanted to say, “Take a risk once again Lord M, but with me.”

Victoria thought she needed to say more to help convince him. But… oh goodness.

Lord M smiled so gently at her even without saying anything, she already knows what he is about to say. So taking a deep breath, she straightened her back and held both of his hands in hers.

“I’m going to ask once again my dearest ex-prime minister.” She stated, “I expect a more positive answer.”

He smirked, “Why don’t you try this time ma’am?”

She scowled, “Hmph, very well.” She smiled and asked, “Lord William Lamb, Second Viscount of Melbourne, will you marry me?”

He didn’t answer right away, but tucked a strand of hair in her ear.

“Lord M?” She asked worriedly.

He shocked his head, “Don’t worry ma’am. I am just thinking.”

“Your answer…”

“Yes ma’am.” He replied right away, making her eyes widened. “I will marry you your majesty, no, Victoria.”

She knew, she knew this would be his answer. But her heart still skipped a beat, ah, even with the age lines around his eyes he is handsome. 

“Stay with me, William?” 

“Always ma’am, whatever is left of my time, is yours to use.” 

Victoria is aware, the time left together is not long. But… 

She will make sure it will be the best years for the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I was able to finish the story. I did my best, but I do have some regrets. Lady Portman was one of them, and I knew she was one of the most supportive characters in canon and I deeply regret that I forgot her. I was angry at myself when this realization happened, once again, after writing this chapter. So do forgive this mistake... please? I am not sure, but there may be (maybe!) an Epilogue. Like an after story, when they're already married. But that isn't a very sure thing. 
> 
> Sorry about the grammar by the way, English is my second language haha.
> 
> Now, I would like to thank all readers for the reads, kudos, and comments. I appreciate them with all my being. They helped motivate me write more, because knowing it makes me know that there are people who read it. So thank you very much.


End file.
